Pimp My Spaniard

I’m tired. Tracy is tired. Despite the great distances we’ve walked, today we will tour the third largest cathedral in the world: the Cathedral of Seville (and the 32 flights of stairs that compose the Giralda Tower).

The audio guide we bought for $4 USD quoted the architects. “We will build a church so large, they will call us mad men.” Well, they were wrong, because I called them crazy-stupid (about 37 times).

Spaniards have a fascination with virgins and they have a virgin for just about everything. Within the Cathedral we saw the Virgin of the Cushion and the Virgin of the Pomegranate. WTF?

Before we saw the Guinness Book record holder for Largest Gothic Structure in the World, we saw the Alcazar, the fortress/palace of the Spanish royalty. The structure is mathematic in design and intricately detailed, a common denominator between the byproduct of Muslim & Christian styles. Ancient paintings adorn the walls of every room, some seen by Christopher Columbus in the very room where the decision to sail to the New World was made. There are even tapestries there that predate the 13th century, which is before the invention of dust.

A common theme in Spanish artwork is the subjugation of the Moslems, who are either depicted as cowering servants to conquistadors or as dark, demonic makers of martyrs. I was not surprised to hear that the Cathedral of Seville was built on top of a mosque.

Spaniards are also quick to sell-out. It costs $18 USD to get into the Cathedral of Seville. Most other monuments costs about $7 USD. I highly suggest buying a student pass before visiting Spain if you can.

If only Jesus could see the profiteering inside Spain’s churches, I bet he’d flip out and chop everyone’s head off. Now that’s what I call real ultimate power.

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