My Life is a Popularity Contest

At the moment, my life is a popularity contest and I’m ill-equipped to compete. In the past month, I have joined 1 dating website, myspace, stumbleupon and flickr and made significant changes to my friendster account. Plus, I think some girls are shocked and offended by my domain name. Shit.

We all know that girls don’t exist on teh intarweb!!!!1 , which means the majority of voters in this popularity contest are men. How can I be expected to compete with Icelandic, perfectly breasted, skilled with the camera and not skeered women like this? Well there is hope for me.

I have determined that to win this contest I must possess a few of the following:
1) Supple Boobies (In the name of medicine, I finally looked close enough to see the scars)
2) A Good Camera
3) Computer Hacking Skills

I have decided to go with numbers two and three because I respect myself enough and the social norms of uber-nerds to develop a superbadass website. Plus, if my skill in life truly is writing, then I must have a beautiful canvas upon which to paint my words and whore myself to corporate sponsors and potential employers. And I don’t want back probems when I get older.

There’s just one problem. Flickr is damn popularity contest as well, and if I migrate my pictures there, then it will be just like fotopages from ages ago.

I feel even more like a whore doing this; I am going to change the layout of my webpage, because I find its current state insipid and dull. In addition, I am going to add a bunch of bells and whistles: a spell checker, spam karma, stattraq, popularity contest plugin, Flickr Album, Flickr RSS, Technorati Tags, Flickr Related plugin, Squible, Netflix Queue plugin and Random Header plugin.

However, I don’t like losing control of my pictures and I don’t like being subjected to the popularity contests, so I am thinking about PixelPost instead.

So, a slight increase in syndication, a little loss of control, whoring and a more public webpage vs. isolation, bitterness and complete, dictatorial control? It’s a harder choice than you think.

The parents emailed me last night, concerned that they have not heard my voice in nearly 3 weeks. In light of the recent separation, I think they are scared I will off myself.

//signed//
Jimmy
Inspiring Confidence Since 1978

Popularity: 6% [?]